On being bored last month
Reading Time: 5 minutes / Last modified: 3 months, 1 week ago.
Originally, this was a post entirely about cutting back my social media usage. Then I discovered Blog Carnivals, and February's theme just so happens to be boredom, which I figured would tie nicely into what I had already written so far.
Over the past couple of months, I've felt less inclined to listen to music on the way to work. I still love it, but when I'm walking I have so much going on in my head I've been enjoying letting it all play out. It's nothing new, I've been kicking myself for daydreaming my life away a lot (if you've read any of my previous posts, you might be sick of me mentioning it), but letting the noise in my brain do what it needs to has been just... Fine. Why resist it while I'm walking? I'd always have my music on shuffle anyways. That said, I'm getting gifted an iPod later this month, I'm totally buzzing to get that set up. But whatever, for now I walk in silence. It isn't really boring to me. Now, it's occurred to me that the one thing I've been finding truly boring isn't even "boring," it's actually the antithesis of it.
In my 2025 retrospective, I made it clear how optimistic I was for 2026 in spite all all that happened last year. I first started writing that I think the 29th December, around that time at least. In particular, I found one footnote of mine really funny in retrospect:
I legitimately believe we're heading towards something better this year. (Edit: four days into 2026 and this statement is being tested already.)
I think, now that January is officially over, I can look back and laugh at myself a little bit. Socially, we're in dark times that are getting darker, and work's felt like an even bigger pain in the ass. Social media in the 2020s has always been a vessel for shock and awe, but it's been especially gross lately.
I don't have the grounds to complain about how much bad news occurs. Still, I guess it reaches a point where you can only do so much to help the causes you care about before you're just doom scrolling and reposting to your mutuals who are reposting the same thing. It remains an important value of mine to keep up on what's happening, sure, but I was hooked on the doom. First, I'd be alerted to something totally horrid, then I'd scroll past a dozen "different" reactions (all the same reaction) and mirror that same distress. That can't possibly be productive.1
Eventually, it reached a point where I was just bored by it all. The tragedies blend into each other, "what else is new?" goes through my mind, I kick myself because I'm falling right into the hands of the people who want me to become apathetic. I always knew it was something that could happen, I think I've known this entire time that I was falling into that. Apathy is comfort, and that doesn't sit right with me. Ignorance is also comfort, and that doesn't sit right with me at all. It was early January I decided to strike a healthy balance between staying in the know and not letting it consume me.
I also think, as someone often scorned by their own ambition, it helps that I've given myself a lot of liberty rather than going cold turkey.
It's been a little under a month but we're on a good path. I haven't actually hit my app timers much lately, but when I do and need to refer back to something or message someone, I hop onto the browser version. Instagram and X both have icky browser UX so I'm never itching to use it for long. All for the better. As far as other outlets go, I've been returning to my journals, this blog, and my commonplace.2 It helps that I also pull a lot of news from a select group of people so scrolling isn't really an "educational" thing either anymore; I liked long form video content anyways, but especially now. Mind you, lately my YouTube shorts have been full of positive cultural exchange content that's such a respite from Instagram slop. I don't feel as lobotomised anymore.
So, in the past month, I've confronted two different kinds of boredom, I've allowed one into my life and rejected another.3 There's a common denominator here but it's escaping me right now. Something pompous about the postmodern online socialsphere being overwhelmingly overstimulating the point where it's all getting kinda fuzzy, something about being more deliberate with how I take in the world around me, something about how we define boredom vs how the world around us defines it, something about curating my content streams to better suit my values, giving myself time to dwell on what those values are. I think I've got it: don't let your boredom be sated by a machine designed to not let it exist at all... Woah. Eh. Whatever. I'll think on it, probably when I'm bored walking to work again. If you like that quote, you can claim it for yourself. I don't really want it.
It's not like everything's finally clicked for me, I don't think things ever will (not to be all Sisyphean), but I've gained some clarity. Boredom is kinda like bacteria, some of it is good and cleanses out your gut and stuff, and some of it is indicative of a deep-rooted issue in your consumption (felt pretty smart writing that). Also, if everything is stimulating, eventually nothing will be!4 Boom! Okay, got a quotable line in there. I'll recite that to myself when I'm walking tomorrow. Also also, your brain can do some sick tricks if you let it faff about for a bit. P.P.P.S., Okay I'm kind of getting bored of writing this, to be honest, I'm just going to end things here.
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Footnotes
There remains an important use for social media in driving social change, I never want to forget that, and I never want to be completely removed from that either. Hopefully, this part doesn't come across like I'm suggesting I'm better off digging my head in the sand.↩
I've mentioned this a few times in the past couple of weeks. If you don't know, a commonplace journal is your own curated archive of information (quotes, facts, media, etc.) and I have a couple. I absolutely adore going through the stuff I have digitally saved, deciding if it's worth storing in my physical book, and then deleting it from my saves. If you're a glass half pure fruit juice guy, this is therapy. If you're a glass half Redbull and cigarette butts guy, this is basically my crack at the moment. Take your pick. If you're curious about the system I've got set up, let me know and I'll consider writing a post to go over it.↩
It goes without saying, but a lot of these revelations and strategies I've developed aren't like... Fool-proof for everyone. As far as I'm aware, I'm neurotypical, so there's absolutely some nuance in this whole discussion I'm not privy to. I don't really want to preach my approach to boredom in a way that undermines the struggles of, let's say, someone with ADHD. This entire blog is just a ramble about my personal relationship to boredom. Hell, it's only been a month, I may very well get bored of what I'm doing now and go back to scrolling-- I mean, I hope not, but it's a possibility.↩
I have an extended thought on this but I don't feel like writing it right now. I'll maybe get back to it.↩