Bittersweet quismois in Norfolk
Can relate to things not quite being the same as they were. Not in a super bad way, but it's definitely bittersweet. Like, I never bonded with my family or extended family super well, but at least I was young enough to occupy myself with whatever plastic I chose from an Argos catalogue, and felt like I at least belonged in that space in spite of my quietness.
This year, nan's across the ocean celebrating Christmas with her other children (we've been hogging her so it's totally fair), and my friends + partner have stronger bonds with their families this Christmas. So, like you said, I'm not unhappy, and this isn't even unusual anymore, but I miss when the emotions around the holidays were less complicated lol
Got some super nice strawberry gin though this year, so cheers to that.
This was something I said in response to someone else's bittersweet message board post. Nothing else describes how I feel right now, bittersweet.
- I'm bitter at the grown-up world devoid of magic. 1
- I'm bitter at everyone joint at the hip with their families. 2
- I'm bitter at the detachment I feel from my home. 3
I had good food today. Twice. A traditional Christmas dinner and then a savoury heaven of bread, salamis, cheeses and pate. I got practical things, like cute socks that actually feel good and I'll try really hard not to lose. Mum opened up her present from me, and drank from that glass for the rest of the night.
I'm not wishing to build a better bond, because I've already long accepted that this is how Christmas with my family is. And I've accepted that it isn't bad, and that I'd be way more uncomfortable if we attempted to capture that old light. We're just all getting older now.
But my head isn't there. I just want to be back in my house in Norwich with my housemates and partner, watching Kung Fu Hussle and then deciding what to do next. I'm not good at Smash Ultimate, so it's fun to watch the other three go at it. That's kind of just where I want to be right now. The observer.
Reply via Email! ✰ First published 25/12/2023 and last modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago.