I switched (uninstalled) my robot (Instagram) off
This entry is a bit messy, as I start to compartmentalise my thoughts on the subject matter. I also need to write quickly so I can cook dinner for the family. And for myself. My stomach gurgles. You'll also have to excuse me for coming across as condescending as that isn't my intention.
I do admittedly roll my eyes at anyone who laments the destructive natures of social media. Not because I disagree, but because the problem runs much deeper than simply advocating for boycotts. Most normal people have that awareness, that:
- "Yes, the scrounging for 'likes' is terrible!"
- "I hate seeing this female form that I will never achieve!"
- "This ad of something I talked about 'privately' is really weird..."
The list of reasons why we then don't collectively give up on these platforms is long, but the key component is FOMO, the godforsaken first-world curse.
I realise that in my personal life I've always felt out of touch with everyone. The internet has since exacerbated that. It's been easier in person because of my housemates and partner, and the occasional waves on a walk to a seminar, and weekly society meetups; we all have places to be, but the consideration to do those little gestures speaks volumes.
Social media, however, highlighted whenever I didn't have a place in anyone's lives. This is obviously a very melodramatic take, and partly lies in my own mentality and aversion towards online connections. Still, I had situated myself as an invisible fan, not a friend. Stuck in this terrible yearning to be able to share space with people I admired, while struggling to maintain connection. My heart's on my wired sleeve. I have a strong relationship and some strong friendships, thankfully. Best of all, they're not dependent on my Instagram activities.
Going a bit further, myself (definitely a few others too) would justify Instagram as a source of inspiration. The belly of the beast was my 'saves' tab, that I insisted would encourage me to try new crafts, art challenges, and retain obscure life skills like handmaking your own laundry detergent. Except I never got around to those. Except my attention was still elsewhere. The explore tab.
Now, for whatever sense of humour I have, the explore tab accommodated me plenty. A lot of my online interactions would centre around the shared laughs, and occasional homemade fashion editorial. Recently, the straw that broke the camels back was an influx of all the most terrible things on my feed. Fundamentalist Christianity, right-wing wojak conspiracists, misogynist rage-baiting. Whatever. The common denominator here is that they all sought out engagement, arguments, and always put me in a nasty mood. I hardly ever interacted with these posts either. Strange.
I usually face things with an open mind, but there's content that provokes peaceful debate, and then there's echo chambers of commenters patting each other on the back and insulting demographics without a moment of care. The latter was unfortunately the energy harboured in most of these posts. This incident then reminded me of how, in seeking instant-gratification through an hour swipe-sesh, I never felt much better than where I started. I just needed to occupy my brain and quickly. Nothing new, but acknowledging this again made it easier to step away.
So, I've uninstalled Instagram. I uninstalled most other social medias too like Threads and Twitter. Snapchat and Whatsapp are my main modes of communicating with housemates and family though so they stay. I don't scroll Snapchat stories anyway. It's been about a week and I've already felt a shift. Both in good ways and in bad ways. I still feel lonely, I guess. But now I'm incentivised to go through my backlog of inspiration piling up in my Google Photos. Almost a step forward.
The reason I haven't deleted my accounts is twofold: [1] they're my time capsules, [2] I like having some presence with which to reach out to people. The latter point is especially important because, as I suggested earlier, people aren't joining me in leaving anytime soon and it won't do me any good to judge them for it. There is, actually, a secret third reason; [3] I may still want to access that explore page in its time of healing, and laugh once more at a goonmanpercybotv2 post.
Reply via Email! ✰ First published 26/03/2024 and last modified 10 months, 3 weeks ago.